There is much we can be thankful for, a roof over our heads, food in our bellies, friends and family to spend time with. Yet, as mothers we worry about a lot. Are my children happy and flourishing, are they kind to their friends? Is my spouse happy, does he like his job, does he find me attractive? How is our marriage? There is much to think about as a wife and mother. And yet, nature shows us examples of the most beautiful thing we can do for ourselves and our families. Let go.
Instead of holding on tight to the idea of being a perfect mother, having the perfectly clean house, the perfect wardrobe, the perfect job or the perfect car. Can we just be there for those we love, and not worry about holding ourselves to a standard of the “perfect mother?”
Earlier this week I had a conversation about loss, a young mother suffered a miscarriage, the doctor said she was 11 weeks pregnant. Of course her and her husband were devastated. Loss it seems, is something rarely spoken about, but perhaps the more we speak up, the more we’ll see that its more frequent that we though. Losing someone is never easy, be it a child, family member, friend or even pet.
These are my first two “babies” who hiked with me to the top of Hanging Rock Park near Danbury, NC.
Each fall, the leaves on the trees turn the most beautiful colors, like the deep, rich red of the sugar maple tree, or the breath taking purple from the dogwood tree, and all the beautiful golden tones by many of the other trees. But we would not see this beauty without the trees be willing to let go.
What can you let go of today so that your inner beauty can shine through?
By the way, I was that young lady who had the miscarriage. I ended up in the ER because I blacked out and hit my chin on the bathroom counter. I was dehydrated, needed two stitches and lots of rest. I’m so thankful for my wonderfully supportive husband who comforted me and helped me when I needed him. Did you know the frequency of miscarriage is estimated to be 15 to 20 percent of pregnancies? It’s ok to talk about it, especially to friends and family. Let’s stop using the end of the first trimester rule of waiting to tell everyone about pregnancies. Be joyful and share the news of your pregnancy! And if things do go wrong, your loved ones will want to be there to support you and hold your hand and even cry with you. But remember that each season never stays, a new one comes, and spring with all its glory and promise of new life is always around the corner!
Much love to you, and if you need support, reach out to loved ones or seek professional help like UNC’s Perinatal Loss Support Group.
This post is in memory of all the children, born and unborn, that left us too soon.